The Intrigue of Connection: When Someone Leaves You Breathless

#31

Apr 16, 2025

person's hand holding water — Photo by Jiyad Nassar on Unsplash

Hey Reader,

Today, I want to take a detour. This isn’t about rest or recovery, this is about something different. Something that’s been tugging at the corners of my mind and leaving me both excited and hesitant to share. Here it goes.

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I recently stumbled across someone who feels like they’ve stepped out of another realm. Exquisite, angelic, heaven-sent. Big emotions, right? This isn’t someone I know well. In fact, we went to the same schools once, and yet, if I’m honest, I don’t recall us ever sharing a word.

But somehow, here I am, completely taken in. Not in a flashy, head-over-heels kind of way… more like a quiet awe. Like this person radiates the kind of presence that stills the air around them. And it’s unnerving because I don’t want to be weird. I don’t want to overthink or project anything. I just… can’t stop noticing how fond of this person I’ve become without even really knowing them.

Do you know that feeling? When someone catches you so off guard that you question the very fabric of your routine ways? That’s what she’s done to me.

The Push and Pull of Admiration

Here’s the truth: On one hand, I want to stay in this admiration bubble forever, where it’s safe to quietly admire her from a distance. On the other hand, there’s the whisper of a question: What if there’s more?

But then the other thoughts creep in, the ones that tell me to wait, to protect myself.

What if I come across as awkward?

What if I misread the vibes?

What if nothing comes of it?

And, of course, the ever-present imposter syndrome: What could she see in me that’s half as extraordinary as what I see in her?

But maybe the real question isn’t about her at all. It’s about me. Am I willing to take a chance on opening this door?

Breaking the Silence

It’s weird to think about how someone can have such an impact without even knowing it. We shared years of proximity but never exchanged a single word. Why does it feel like such a missed opportunity now?

It’s easy to romanticize the past, to wish we’d had one of those iconic school corridor run-ins or serendipitous moments that seem made for movies. But that’s not our story. And maybe that’s okay, because it means there’s still a blank slate ahead. The story isn’t written yet. The question is: Do I dare begin to write it now?

Speaking to her feels both terrifying and exhilarating. I don’t want to come across as intrusive or make her uncomfortable. I don’t want to lead with the wrong words or give the wrong impression. Yet, at the same time, I wonder if life, in all its twists and turns, has placed us in this moment for a reason.

Does Courage Have to Be Perfect?

Here’s what I’m trying to remind myself: Kindness, honesty, and sincerity never go out of style. You don’t have to storm in with declarations, grand gestures, or the perfect words. Just showing up can be a bold step forward.

So, here’s what I’d tell the younger version of me from those school days:

People are just people, no matter how angelic they seem.

Connection isn’t about knowing exactly what to say; it’s about being genuine.

Timing is often more powerful than we give it credit for. You weren’t ready then, but you might be ready now.

A Gentle First Step

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that hesitation doesn’t carry the same weight as regret. Life isn’t guaranteed to hand you another moment; sometimes, you have to create one.

So, what does a first step look like? Maybe it’s as simple as:

Sending an innocuous message about something you have in common (our shared schools are already built into history).
Finding a way to acknowledge her that feels casual yet thoughtful (a compliment that celebrates something authentic about her).
Or even just starting a lighthearted conversation that leaves space for ease.

The truth is, we can only grow through vulnerability. And if she’s as radiant as I believe her to be, she’ll see the courage behind that vulnerability.

The Wonder of the Unknown

Whether this connection blossoms into something significant or remains a passing admiration, I’m grateful for the way she’s reminded me of what it feels like to hope, to dream, to imagine. She’s reignited something in me, something I thought I’d lost.

So, here’s to courage, messy, imperfect, and beautiful in its willingness to try.

Who knows what could happen next? Maybe her gaze will meet mine, and we’ll smile. Or maybe the simple act of showing up will be enough to grow me in ways I haven’t yet imagined.

I’ll let you know what happens.

More soon,

Khanya

P.S. If there’s someone who’s been on your mind lately, consider this your gentle nudge to reach out, in whatever way feels right. Life’s too short to leave words unspoken. Who knows? Magic might just be waiting on the other side.

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